A drunk man who smelled like beer 
sat down on a subway next to a priest. The 
man's tie was stained, his face was 
plastered with red lipstick, and a 
half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out 
of his torn coat pocket. He opened his 
newspaper and  began reading. 
After a few minutes the man  turned to 
the priest and asked,  

'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's  caused by 
loose living, being with cheap, wicked 
women, too much alcohol, contempt for 
your fellow man, sleeping around with 
prostitutes  and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 
'Well, I'll be  damned, ' 
then returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had 
said, nudged the man  and apologized. 
'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come 
on so strong.   How long have you had 
arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, 
Father. I was just reading here that 
the Pope does.'