How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket according to lights and darks
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair
Shave armpits and legs
Turn off shower
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner
Get out of shower
Dry with towel the size of a small country
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
Walk naked to the bathroom
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound
Look at your manly physique in the mirror
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum
Get in the shower
Wash your face
Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee
Rinse off and get out of shower
Partially dry off
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time
Admire willy size in mirror again
H/T The Other Woman
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