'1' Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

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'2' Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

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'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.
Stop it!

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'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

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'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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'7' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

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'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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'9' Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?
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'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!
