TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
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TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:         Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    
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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.  
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TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog.
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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher
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