Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
 
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
 
**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
**************************
At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
 
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
 
**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
 
**************************
On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
 
**************************
At a Tire Shop in  Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
 
**************************
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
 
**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
 
**************************
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
 
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
 
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
 
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
 
**************************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
 
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
 
**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
 
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
 
**************************
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
 
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
 
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
 
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
 
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

**************************  
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: 
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

H/T John Warden