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 After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
 to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
 my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
 realized I had left my wallet at home.
 I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
 have to go home and come back later.
 The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
 So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
 She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
 she processed my Social Security application.
 When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
 experience at the Social Security office.
 She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
 might have gotten disability, too'
 And then the fight started.....

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 My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
 school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink
 as she sat alone at a nearby table.
 My wife asked 'Do you know her?'
 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
 drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
 hasn't been sober since.'
 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
 person could go on celebrating that long?'
 And then the fight started.....

 ***********************************************************************

 I rear-ended a car this morning.
 So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the
 other driver got out of his car.
 You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
 little things just seem funny?
 Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
 He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
 shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
 So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
 which one are you?'
 And then the fight started.....

 ***********************************************************************

 HOW THE FIGHT STARTED...
 A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort
 of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap,
 That must be my husband!' So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed,
 scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed
 himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run
 as fast as he could to his car. A few minutes later he returned and
 went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband.!'
 The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
 And that folks....is how the fight started.