The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company! Love it!
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last  two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I  think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000  years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick  Finnegan
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Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with  reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat  confused in your history.  The only mode of transportation 2,000  years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway  Company
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Gentlemen,
I  am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are  confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of   David , 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.  
That gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick  Finnegan.

H/T John Warden