If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's then go to Korea and marry ladyboy otherwise
.. adopt a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out dogging (as in watching and occasionally partaking in public sex in carparks, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ...
...then adopt a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, unless it's gone midnight and the gay porn chat channel has started, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies or sexy housewife videos from one of those “tube” sites or if their servers are down, Google Images!
..then adopt a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and unmentionable toilet parts and whom you can push off if he snores like a fucking drain
..then adopt a dog !
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do (oops sorry wrong hole dear), doesn't care
if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old but are themselves blind or self-deluded, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to except when the words bog and clean are mentioned, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ..
..then adopt a dog.
BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come, never come
when you call, ignores you totally when you come home after a hard day at the bookies, leaves pubic hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night due to the copious amount of methamphetamines consumed earlier that day and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness .,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..then vote Labour
Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?
You...
....have a GREAT Day!!!
H/T John The Baker
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